So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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