This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize