Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
