i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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