we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
