Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How does one acquire holy water?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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