Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
