Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize