She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
