HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can you bring me the toilet please
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
