Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Non-Jews are for practice
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
