You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
