Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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