K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
