can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
