my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Help. Why am I so naked?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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