Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
