You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
