I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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