I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Girls should come with a carfax report
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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