a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
