It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
