I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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