He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
