remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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