before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
