Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
