Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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