Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
