remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
