Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There are leaves in my underwear?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
