so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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