Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
