Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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