i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
