try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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