thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
