Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
