is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
