ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
