i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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