Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
