Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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