I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
