she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this boner is exhausting
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
