I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm passing your future prison.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
