Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
