On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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