and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
