is your mom at the bar?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
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