I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am mentally ready for anal.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
