The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
