Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
