and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
