Quick, to the slutcave!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize