I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
