3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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