Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
