dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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