I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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