I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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