I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
