Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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