Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
